who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
