ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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