Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm like, not good at living.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
