Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
