I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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