Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dick has a subreddit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
