I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
