It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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