You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
