dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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