There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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