That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
