wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
