I just threw up on my dentist
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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