She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
