Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize