john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
tell me about the fingering
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