some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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