Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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