i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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