it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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