I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
