He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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