Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
