I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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