i permit you to call me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
