I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think your dad took our porno
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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