High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
