Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
