You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
