he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
