i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
