I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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