it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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