mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
