Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
