Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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