My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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