In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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