It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
