he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
