What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she smelled like a LAN party
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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