U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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