Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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