I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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