my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
