My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
