Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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