Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
