Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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