why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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