she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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