Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
