Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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