That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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