So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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