i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize