My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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