remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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