I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
