I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
