there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
