I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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