dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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