Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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