I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
